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Selected quotes from Dear Mrs. Web:

 

Would you be able to please her in the future? I wouldn’t even bother to try.

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You are both treating each other like meat instead of human beings.

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Contrary to what you might believe, a way to a man’s heart is not through his genitals. I doubt you will be able to get the relationship onto another track. I know he treats you nicely at times; any man who has hopes for a repeat performance would.

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Isn’t she a little bucket of sunshine?

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I am a generalist. Why? Because life is not lived on one note.

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However a ready-made family comes with its own history and habits and there will be places you will fit, and places you won’t.

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Sharing your body is an intimate and private moment reserved for the beloved, the person who accepts and loves all of you.

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The most unattractive women in this world are the rude ones.

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Did you both run away from your problems or did you face them squarely? Did you tell him about your hurt and pain? Did he beg forgiveness and did you both get to the point of vulnerability and renewal? Or, are you still scrunched up in pain? When renewal happens in a marriage, it is a kind of a honeymoon, but with new level of wisdom, self-knowledge, knowledge of the beloved, and acceptance of each other.

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The only way to stop being a doormat is to get up off the floor.

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Young men need to commit to preparing themselves for their future and future responsibilities. He should be focusing in school, and building his personality and character at this time, not playing house with someone whom could be his mother

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He sounds crass and crude to me. I wouldn’t waste anymore time on him. Lose him.

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Underneath it all, children should know that an adult will take the important issues to the mat with them, and will win.

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Friendship includes the flexibility of tact, warmth, and discretion.

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…you own your thoughts. You choose what you put in your mind and what you dwell on. You do not have to be ruled by your senses, desires, and emotions. This is how people stay in committed, lifelong, monogamous relationships. They backburner or round-file the things that get in the way of the commitment.

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The best defense against shallow and limited people is to require decent manners from them

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Don't act like a moral-zero.

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Sometimes, we copy the lives with which we are most familiar. It takes a real effort to get out of these tracks already before us.

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Passion is an important part of any relationship and people’s souls dry up and slowly die without it.

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Developing a relationship is designing a future, together. Successful marriage is negotiation, communication, and passion.

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The best way to achieve flexibility is to truly understand that the only constant in life is change. It is inevitable. Translated: Change Happens

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I hope you pay attention …and break through the noise of your own needs.

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Face it and give him what he needs, an available, and caring Daddy.

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Sometimes people have minds so open their brains fall out! You do not let an ex-con pedophiliac into any child or family related organization!

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Every junior high school class in the country must be assigned one of these kids.

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People are expected to ignore or enjoy the deluge of suggestive images that flood our lives; however; it is not expected to affect them. I consider this one huge overestimation of human nature.

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People tend to have the final years they earned.

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Your father is either besotted with love or numb as a hake (Often the two conditions combine…but that’s a different letter.).

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When you threaten an unpleasant person, you usually get a load of unpleasantness back.

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We live in a culture soaked in the word "rights." From the Bill of Rights, to patient rights, to the right to die, to the right to own some bauble, or to be offensive, the word has been twisted to increasingly meet the needs of the unreasonable.

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If you are really suffering you can tell Dear Mrs. Web and I will keep your secret.

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Examples of good character are far more precious that greenback dollars in helping children develop the emotional and character tools for life.

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I have never seen a negative situation made better by getting pregnant.

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If you weren’t concentrating so hard on what you wanted and your needs, perhaps there would be room for someone else. Step out of your neediness and begin living a full life. It will also go a long way to dissipate that smell of desperation.

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Please realize you are writing to a woman who, when single, had a one-room apartment and a cleaning woman.

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Men and women who date each other owe each other honesty about their expectations and goals of their relationship. They, however, do not owe each other fidelity.

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Do not sit there like a rabbit in the headlights, instead, take control.

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If you have spent any time visiting Dear Mrs Web, you will realize that she does not approve of premarital, co-ed showering. After the wedding however…

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The Bill of Rights does not contain the Right to Be Upset.

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You are the parents of an offensive little twit. Most of them grow out of it by their first graduate degree.

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"If you keep doing something and it doesn’t get you what you want, it is time to stop."

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A baby needs two totally committed parents, not a teenager who wants her own apartment, courtesy of the state.

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…let me state that there is nothing like an acting-out teenager to explode a family or two.

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Be generous now, you are not only gaining a son, and a father for your future grandchildren, but a lifetime of free legal advice!

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Trusting someone is a choice. Anger, bitterness, and grief, all cloud the choice we have to move on and have a life that is open to relationship, love, and commitment.

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Life throws us the unexpected. We deal with it.

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Loving, kind, and caring men place their beloved at the center of their lives, not as an add-on feature or a sex depository. Men who love sacrifice themselves for their loved ones.

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Commitment means it is no longer my career and your career, but our careers our plans, our future.

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Being a parent means you are going to be smudged.

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There are men who will hit up a telephone pole if it is unattached.

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Part of growing up is learning to accept and value the directions and wisdom of parents.

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You sound like someone who wants to be loved and, frankly, will pay almost any price to have it happen.

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If you are afraid saying what you want will scare him off, you don't really have him.

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"First Baby Disease"….The major symptom is that the mother attempts to control everything and everyone around her baby. Eventually sanity returns.

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Remember, we sometimes put ourselves in our own boxes.

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Your job as a grownup is to keep your children safe. They don't have to go through what you did.

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Marry your emotional equal.

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Legally you have to provide him with three hots and a cot, adequate clothing and access to medical care. Everything else is a privilege.

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When you have succeeded you will have added slabs of good muscle to your character.

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I am not a "love conquers all" kind of Dear Mrs. Web. Love is a good beginning, but commitment, values, family connections and friendships are what makes marriages work over the long haul.

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Boy, did you write to the wrong column!

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….. in the long term, observing how a person treats you, other friends, acquaintances, animals, and strangers is a better indicator of a potential friend’s character

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"Never marry anyone crazier than you."

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The honeymoon is over. Too bad you didn’t wait until you were married to have it.

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In the old days, it was considered bad form to fish in the office pool.

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…if a professor at a public university insulted me and my beliefs, I would sue him and the university into the middle of next week.

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Dear Mrs Web was once young and beautiful – she remembers.

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Divorced parents who are able to overcome their differences for their children’s sake have a special place in my heart.

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People sometimes say things that may have been true in the moment, but are no longer true.

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Dear Mrs. Web still swoons when she remembers the special piece of jewelry Dear Mr. Web bestowed upon her prior to their marriage.

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I have always had a theory that the mentally and morally troubled are the canaries of a culture.

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Your friend is a true stress puppy. These people live in chaos and actually thrive there.

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Dogs dig up yards. Cats leave hairballs. Both have fleas.

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Leave him in the dust.

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The only way to have standards is to set standards. You do this by letting people know kindly, but firmly they were out-of-line.

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"Wouldn’t I look nice in a new diamond tiara?"

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Holding Mommy’s finger is a baby-basic that a two-year-old should master.

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There is always a transfer available for a good secretary.

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One of the saddest things about people who play house is the way the relationship disappears when it ends.

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(There is a special place in heaven for women with difficult mothers in-law!!).

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There are people who are parents and grandparents because of biology, but not because of their hearts. Make sure your father is comfortable, warm, and fed.

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…. by making sure your son knows his life will be intolerable for a long time if he ever dares to get himself thrown off the school bus again.

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You are settling for shreds

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If you need to be needed go volunteer at the pediatric unit of your local hospital, but chose a life-mate for the good, loving qualities he exhibits toward you and others.

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Childbearing and rearing is reserved for the commitment of marriage. Unwed parenthood mostly indicates an inability to control one’s impulses and/or a poor upbringing, despite what the media tells you.

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It must be a real thrill for her to sit there each evening watching you get sloshed.

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Your daughter is being tortured by a group of bullies.

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If everyone bends a bit, everyone could benefit.

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You will never know how some people envy your relaxed attitude.

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Don’t expect him to play your games, read your mind or understand the heart you hide from him.

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Your daughter will come up with some other ideas. If you are not careful, she may parlay this into a horse.

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I am always concerned when a woman says "no one really understands him the way I do".

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…go with the best choice within the limitations. Otherwise you spend emotional energy wishing things were different.

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I agree that one should not rely on physical love to make one happy in a relationship, but physical love is how a man and a woman bond, repair, and express their emotional oneness.

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Well, now you know how superficial you can be.

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You discovered early what some people find out too late, or not at all: spending time with family and friends trumps just about any kind of work.

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You have been married to a felonious, irresponsible, cheating, cruel, childish, blaming, controlling man.

cd

As Hobbes said to Calvin in the comic strip: "Little boys don’t smell so good".

cd

Loving people despite their faults is a sign of true maturity.

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No one can take your "guilt" away. You own it. It is wholly yours.

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Well, in my humble opinion, you should cash in this seventies throwback and change your phone number.

cd

Some people practice the religion called "Dog-ism".

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At two, a toddler must learn that certain things are required of him. It is part of the civilizing process.

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"You look great," and "Did you lose some weight?" are always welcome comments.

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Nothing is more pathetic than the simpering adult who says to a child, "Oh, don’t call me Mr. Jones!  That’s my father’s name. I’m Albert!" Makes me just want to slap him hard!!

cd

My widowed father tells me his dog is a woman-magnet.

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You don’t have to be her puppet. You can see her as the pitiful soul she is and keep your integrity intact.

cd

Raising money for the wedding? Well, you could sell tickets. Sell advertising on each table. Charge for parking. Rent T-shirt space on the bride.

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My heart goes out to you. Keep in touch.

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Don’t ever put children through this kind of trauma without a commitment, a ring, and a date.

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Gossip is the playground of small minds.

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Some people think that brides and birthday children must get there own way no matter how silly or unreasonable. Dear Mrs. Web disagrees, with vigor!

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...there are no real friends in former lovers - just one wounded person and one guilty one.

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I have run into more than one teenaged boy who denied the true nature of the relationship he had with his girlfriend, almost up to the wedding, or in one memorable instance, the due date.

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Being "in love" lasts a while, but eventually life intervenes.

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People who are caught up in the common culture, especially film and television viewers, actually seem to have a very different moral center than others,

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There is nothing more tiresome than women who back a candidate because she has an "innie" instead of an "outie." That old fashioned thinking: " if it is a woman it must be good," is a leftover of the mindless woman-power days.

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You are asking for the privilege and exclusivity that comes with being a wife, but you are not a wife, you are a girlfriend and a roommate, both expendable relationships.

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Well, it’s not as stupid as hitting yourself on the head repeatedly with a hammer.

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Reputations ruin easily. With hard work and blameless living, you will live this mistake down. If you live in a small town, however, it will be forgiven but never forgotten.

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We all know the old dating and serial relationship methods don't work. It is time for courtship. As usual, Dear Mrs. Web is again on the cutting edge of social change.

 

 

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