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Dear Mrs. Web,

I wanted to write and tell you that I love your advice column, I think it's great! I read your archives on in-laws and I feel so much more in tune with myself and situations of my own that I'm facing with my in-laws. Your advice is wonderful, keep up the good work.

Grateful thanks for your kind words.  Dear Mrs. Web needed that!  The site is growing by leaps and bounds and her readers and correspondents are world-wide, from every continent... 


Except for Antarctica!  Come on Antarctica! Isn't there anyone there who needs to visit Dear Mrs. Web?


Dear Mrs. Web,

What do you think of nose piercing?


Seriously, it is not my taste. But, you knew that.

Dear Mrs. Web,

I read your response to the question about corporal punishment! I loved your answer! It's one of the best I have ever read on the subject. You have such infinite wisdom! Keep up the great work. You are really helping many people.

Wow! I sure needed that. Thank you.



Dear Mrs. Web,

My name is Steve and I have a question regarding men's hairstyles. I am balding and decided four years ago to shave my head completely bald for a cleaner look. I received a lot of positive attention from women at the time.

However, over the last year or so I have noticed more men with longer hair and women paying less attention to bald-headed men. Are bald-headed men out and longhaired guys in?

Not as far as Dear Mrs. Web is concerned. I have noticed a number of bald men as well as a few balding ones receiving quite a bit of female attention. Bald men will never be out of style in my book. It is a classic look. There is something about high foreheadsÖ



Dear Mrs Web,

I just wanted you to know that your answer to my email  was a big help and I will never forget you. Your advice helped me so much! I have realized quite a bit about my old relationship. I will keep in touch.

Thanks for everything.

Dear Mrs Web is happy she could help. Take care of yourself and your little one.

Dear Mrs Web needs many more visits and hits at her site as well as more newspapers to publish her column. Please let people in your area know about Dear Mrs Web .com



Dear Mrs. Web,

One of my favorite sitcoms, now seen in reruns, was 'Married With Children.í Did you ever see the show during its 10-year run?  If so, what advice would you have given to Al, Peg, and the kids? 

Dear Mrs. Web lives a rather backward life and has not seen this show. Sorry, I canít be much help to you. From the little I have heard about the program, Dear Mrs. Web would probably have to give them a good talking to.



Dear Mrs. Web,

How do I know you will not know who I am?

I don't read minds.  Donít send me your name. Use a blind mailbox if you need it. 

I respond to letters to the mailbox that they come from unless the letter writer tells me otherwise.



Dear Mrs. Web,

How much does liposuction cost? 2,000-10,000 dollars?

I think it would depend on the area and amount to be liposuctioned. If we were removing a wee bit under the chin, it would certainly be less than sucking out olí thunder thighs.

My guess would be in the $2-10,000 range. Good plastic surgeons will be able to give you a firm price. I would make an appointment and discuss it with a reputable physician. Careful, there are many quacks out there with a compressor and a three-day workshop under their belts. Get someone experienced and board-certified.



Dear Mrs. Web,

I have been invited to my friendís family for Easter. Should I bring a gift when I go? Any ideas of what would be appreciated?

I have found that excellent chocolates are always welcome during the holidays.  In case you ever spend the holidays at my house,  Dear Mrs. Web prefers ones without cream centers!

If you are a gifted cook, homemade specialties are always a nice touch.



Dear Mrs Web,

Which are better, cats or dogs?

Dogs dig up yards. Cats leave hairballs. Both have fleas.



Dear Mrs. Web,

There was a terrible crime in our community last year and it is now coming to trial. I cannot believe that people can treat each other so inhumanly. It seems as though more people, especially young and troubled kids, are lashing out against anyone or anything they can catch at a disadvantage: children or animals, religious icons or racial differences. Why are these kids doing this?

I have always had a theory that the mentally and morally troubled are the canaries of a culture. They are cultural indicators. They act out the desires of the zeitgeist, especially the hidden or not so hidden hatreds and fears. Right on the edge, they are the first to go when the guardrails are removed. Many of the safety features normally in a culture to protect they young have been eliminated.

Children are obedient; they do exactly what they are told. Look around you today to discover exactly what we are telling them to do. Television, video games, magazines, commercials, and hobbled schools give children. teens and adults hedonistic, violent messages. Unprotected children and teens and troubled adults exposed to these messages will comply, to the great grief of the community and the nation.



Dear Mrs. Web,

Do you think that 25 is too old for braces?

No. Training wheels yes, braces, no.



Dear Mrs. Web,

Do you have a good brownie recipe?

Yes, my children and everybody elseís children love this extra-fudge one:

Birthday Brownies

4 squares of unsweetened chocolate

1 cup shortening

2 cups of sugar

4 eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla

11/4 cup flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup nuts if desired, we donít

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Melt chocolate and shortening together. Mix in sugar eggs and vanilla. Then stir in remaining ingredients. Spread in 7 x 13 greased pan. Bake until brownies begin to pull away from the sides of the pan, 30 Ė 40 minutes. Cut into 2-inch squares. Makes one big batch.



Dear Mrs. Web,

My sister-in-law is seventeen. She is six months pregnant and living away at her grandmotherís house a few states away. My husband and I and family members have been talking about having us adopt the baby. We have one three year old and could take the baby. Her parents would like to see us have the infant, and my sister-in-law has said she would want us to take it too. She lives in another state and we usually donít see her except at large family gatherings. Although we would be more than willing to open our home to this baby and keep it in its larger family we are unsure of whether this is the right thing to do.

I think it is a great thing to do, provided there are ground rules and understandings on both sides of this adoption. First, your niece must understand that although she is the babyís birth mom, she will no longer be the babyís mother. Your family must be able to stretch to accommodate her and offer her a new role, for she will be important in your childís life and as your child understands the role of birthmother they will be a bond.

You need to understand adopting is not like having another birth baby. This baby comes with baggage, and in this case, it is family baggage. The babyís birth grandparents may also have new roles in your life. This will not be the easiest kind of adoption but many families have accommodated an unexpected little one in just this manner. Make sure this is a legal adoption not just a family understanding, with a finalization. This is an important boundary to maintain in your family.



Dear Mrs. Web,

I have a friend who collects. Everything. She has sets of everything from salt shakers to the latest plates from all the mailings. It is like she canít buy one thing if she knows there is a series out there. She seems to be getting a little odd about it. Her family is beginning to look worried. I am too.

Sometimes normal behaviors become unbalanced. Obsessions and compulsions are behaviors that a person cannot readily be bring under their control. Your friend sounds like she needs to have some professional intervention. If she is spending the grocery or even the vacation money uncontrollably, she needs help. As a friend, approach a family member quietly and voice your concern.



Dear Mrs. Web,

My father and mother just asked me to take care of their dog, again. Toodles is a nasty, yappy, nippy small dog who I cannot stand. They even call this dog my "baby sister". How can I get out of caring for Toodles?

I will assume that the inheritance is not hanging on where Toddles spends your parentís vacation. You can get out of caring for Toodles by telling your parents you cannot take care of it.  Then tell them about that new concept, boarding kennels. There Toodles can rest, relax and play in safety.  Present it as "camp for the well-rounded dog".



Dear Mrs. Web,

My husband buys about two hundred dollars worth of lottery tickets each month. I think that is too much.

I do not particularly care for gambling. However, when people do gamble I think that the amount spent needs to be in line with their income. So, if he were making 200,000 dollars a year, I wouldnít say it was a problem. But if the money he spends on lottery tickets could have been better used in your family, I would say it is too much.


Dear Mrs. Web,

How many Dear Little Webs are there at home?

A great many, some days it seems like there are more than on other days. Enough, though, to assure that the house never remains completely picked up for more than three minutes.



Dear Mrs. Web,

My roommate enjoys birds. In our apartment, she has several birdcages with parrots, finches, and other kinds of birds. I enjoy them too. They are kept immaculately and there is only one problem. This winter three of her birds died and my roommate wrapped them up and put them in our freezer. It's a little bird morgue in there. She said she would bury them in the spring. Well, itís July and they are still in there. I didnít use the freezer this winter but now I want ice and things and it bothers me that they are still there. How can I give her a hint to get rid of them?

I would face this one directly and tell your roommate that you can no longer face seeing Pete, Budgie, and Pretty Boy parked between the peas and the ice cream. Suggest that the birds be given a decent burial. She just may have forgotten. Offer to dig the graves and help give them a dignified send off.


Dear Mrs. Web,

My husband and I have no close relatives or relative who would be willing to take our three children if something were to happen to the two of us. We really do not have very many close friends, but there is a couple we know with four children. The children are nice and the family shares similar education and religious values as we do. Our children will not be anyoneís burden, they would come with income sufficient to care for them, and money enough for their college education. Do you think we should ask them?

It doesnít sound like you have much choice.  Children without any designated guardian would most likely become wards of the state. I would approach them, many people are willing to serve as foster parents and are often honored when asked. If they say yes, immediately put together a will and the necessary trusts with your attorney.



Dear Mrs. Web,

Sometimes there is a period after "Mrs" in your name and sometimes there is not one. Which is correct?

Dear Mrs. Web is very, very absentminded. She would, given half a chance, wind up the cat and put the clock out for the night. Fortunately for the cat, Dear Mr. Web intervenes as needed. The punctuation mark you mention should always be there.



Dear Mrs. Web,

I have an eighteen-month-old and a thirty-two month old. Our whole family was invited to the home of, two childless friends the other day. When we got there I "childproofedí the areas the babies would be in by putting our friendís expensive and fragile items up out of reach. I told my friends what I was doing but they insisted on putting everything back down. Of course, an expensive art piece was smashed and although my friends were gracious, I know they were peeved. I feel that I did my best in policing the children but still feel as though I should offer to pay the insurance deductible. My husband says to let it go, they asked for it.

It is always gracious to offer to pay and it would be equally gracious for them to refuse, considering the circumstances. Many childless people have no clue about the damage two toddlers can inflict in ten minutes. Your friends learned the hard way. If they are too rigid to modify their home for your visits, have them over to yours until the children are fully civilized.



Dear Mrs. Web,

I want to send flowers to a woman that I have recently met. What special day should I choose to do so, Easter or Motherís Day? I am not sending for each occasion.

Unless you have had a direct or indirect role in this womanís motherhood, donít send flowers to her on Motherís Day

One should only acknowledge Motherís Day with a woman who has some kind of motherly role in your life, wife, mother, grandmother, close Aunt, a daughterÖ 

Therefore, my choice would be Easter or perhaps an unexpected, fresh, spring bouquet just because it is spring!



Dear Mrs. Web,

My sister said you wouldnít answer this email.

Sheís wrong.



Dear Mrs. Web,

How can you tell love is real?

Real love doesn't only dance the night away. Real love commits forever. Real love cleans up the baby, goes to work every day, sits by a hospital bed, looks for you in a crowd, doesn't notice that you're fat and fifty. Real love cries when you're hurt and rejoice with your successes. Real love is a treasure and a gift. Every day all over the world there are millions of people who have the courage to provide real love, no matter how difficult the task. They are the arms of the goodness in this world.



Dear Mrs. Web,

Are you like Dr. Laura Schlessinger?

Dr. Laura is petite, blond and pretty. I am short, curly and built-for-comfort.



Dear Mrs. Web,

What is your favorite CD?

Without a doubt, Perry Como. His song, Round and Round is the ultimate love song. It is a song about passion and commitment and marriage and forever in an energetic and bouncy tune. What more can one ask for?



Dear Mrs. Web,

Is there a Mr. Web? He is very lucky to be married to such a thoughtful person!

I immediately forwarded this to the handsome and talented Dear Mr. Web, but I am not so sure how lucky he's feeling today.



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